There has been a lot in the news in the last week about an Instagram personality, Essena O'Neil that has started a movement that "Social Media is not real life." I read her blog and watched her video and I would like to share my thoughts on the topic. I had this conversation with a good friend of mine who is also extremely involved in social media and we had similar thoughts.
Essena talks at length in one specific post about what drove her to social media. She wanted what an older girl at her school had. She saw this girl that she idolized and she wanted attention, flattery and everything that came with that. Because of that, Essena worked hard to create a situation that wasn't reality. She talks about obsessively refreshing her page looking for the likes to go up. She talks about the money she was paid to promote products. What she doesn't talk about is a love for creating, or a drive to make content.
I spend a large portion of my time on various social media platforms. I work as a social media consultant for companies. I am a YouTuber and blogger. I connect with my friends through social media in my spare time. It is safe to say that I love social media, but let's back up to the beginning.
My parents held back social media from me for a long time. The only reason I was allowed to finally get a Facebook account is because my parents were sick of me begging to let me on their account so I could play Hedgehog Launch. Who I was friends with was approved by my parents. They saw everything I did on social media. They still do. I am 19 years old and my parents know of and can see any of my accounts at any time. I figure if it is something I wouldn't want my parents seeing, it doesn't belong on the internet for the world to see.
I started my YouTube channel 7 and a half years ago. My parents didn't know about it at the time. It wasn't that I was hiding it, they just didn't know what it was. I don't remember ever telling them about it, they just knew. I probably showed them a video and tried to explain it. Here is where I say the most cliche YouTuber thing ever, there was not even a way to make money on YouTube when I started.
I started making singing videos so I could send them to Ellen. Yes, that Ellen. I had seen Taylor Swift on her show and I wanted her to show Taylor my video. I loved Taylor then and that is something that hasn't changed to this day. One thing that has changed is the platform of YouTube.
We now have celebrities. I remember telling my friends about this "Tyler guy I've been watching online," and them thinking that was the dumbest thing ever. Okay, tell that to Tyler Oakley's Teen Choice Award.
I continued making videos for years. It wasn't until just over 2 years ago that I was even able to make money off of my videos. I made videos for 5 years 100% because I loved it.
I also never had a lot of subscribers. I have a wonderful community of caring, amazing people who support my music and videos which is all I could ever ask for. I have people that stop me at conventions because certain videos of mine have touched their life.
I started making videos because I loved it. I continue making videos because I love it. That's it.
I have had peers at social media conventions ask me why I haven't stopped making videos since my "viewership isn't high." One asked me what the point was. The point is that social media is a passion first, a job second.
I have never once equated my self worth to a number on a screen. Does it feel amazing when a lot of people watch and enjoy something I put out? Of course it does! Am I devastated when a video doesn't hit well? I can honestly say no.
There are problems with social media. I don't have blinders on. There are awful people that spread horrible hate. I delete it and hope that they are able to find happiness within themselves, because that is the real reason they are lashing out at me.
I think the biggest problem with social media are people like Essena that go into for the numbers. That is like becoming a doctor for the money. If you aren't doing it to help patients, at some point you are going to burn out. They say if you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. Well, I LOVE what I do and what I do happens to be social media.
No one likes a selfie I put on Instagram? Who cares, I was still killing it that day.
No new Tumblr followers for a week? Oh well, I reblogged a bunch of dogs that made me happy.
10% of my normal views on my newest cover? Big deal. I hit a high note that I worked on for a month and a half.
I could go on and on. Social media is a hobby and an amazing way to connect with people all over the world. Some of us have been lucky to get opportunities or jobs out of it. That was a happy accident for most of us.
"'Without realising, I've spent majority of my teenage life being addicted to social media, social approval, social status and my physical appearance. Social media, especially how I used it, isn't real,'"
This right here is where the problem is. This is what Essena equated social media with. Not self expression, not the freedom to create in a public space, not community. She equated it with numbers, physical looks, approval from complete strangers and money. This is what make it a toxic, unreal environment for her.
Social media is only fake if you are. When I post a video of me singing, that is my real, unedited voice. The only part that is "fake" is the lighting, because I normally film at night and people want to see your face in a video. When I post a photo on Instagram, it isn't edited to a point where it isn't recognizable. I add a few basic effects to make a generally shaky picture I took on my phone seem like I know what I am doing, but it's still me.
You get out what you put in. I put my real genuine self into social media, so that's what I get from others. I don't equate numbers to happiness, so I stay happy when the numbers aren't good. I'm not going to lie to you and say I never check my numbers, because we all do, but I check, give it a quick "Oh this video is doing (worse/better) than normal, hmm," and then I move on.
I know lots of people have lots of thoughts on social media and I would love to hear some of your thoughts in the comments. I typically stay out of "hot" topics, but as someone who has spent most of the last 8 years on social media and has made it a job, I had a lot to say about this specific one. This was in no way said to bash Essena. I 100% believe she made the healthy choice for her, I just don't think that all of us approach social media in the way she did.
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