Hi blog friends. I apologize for being offline for a while, things have been crazy. Today I wanted to talk about something different and rather intense. This is something I wrote on my tumblr and thought I should post here as well.
I have some feelings on a very touchy subject and I think I am going to express them. Please do not hate me, sometimes I just have to let the word bugs out of my head.
The topic I am talking about is the Tom Milsom. If you are unaware of what happened, a simple search will fill you in, that is not for me to summarize.
The thing I really wanted to talk about is the connection between content creator and audience. This is an extremely powerful connection. Viewers feel a personal connection to the creator that they are watching and investing their time in and hence begin to feel as though they know them. This is why there are many people now screaming out over the internet how upset and betrayed they feel.
Now, there are two sides to the argument that the fans have no right to be this hurt. First, I never, ever want to see someone comparing what they are feeling by finding out what an idol did be compared to what the person that went through it was feeling because that is just downright disrespectful to this incredible brave individual who had the strength and courage to speak up. On the other hand, there is some form of bond that we all form to those that we watch and love so it is natural to feel let down or lied too. Your emotions are valid.
The main thing that this all boils down to is respect for victims. I don’t actually like using the word victim because I feel like it still leaves it as the person victimizing them having the power. I prefer the word survivors because that is exactly what these people are. That is what Olga is. She is a beautiful, strong survivor that is making the world a better place by letting her story be told.
I never could, nor would I even try, imagine what she went through and I honestly want to commend her bravery. I also hope she knows that she has the entire YouTube community behind her.
I also want to address the fellow YouTube viewers or blogger that are slamming their fellow fans for being very upset about this. Yes, it needs to be widely understood that people need to be conscious of their words and understand that the person that had to deal with this awful abuse deserves to have her story and emotions undiluted by upset fans. When things like this happen, however, it send shockwaves through the community. There is fear and anger and sadness and in some cases, feelings of guilt for not seeing that something is wrong. The amazing thing about social media is the ability to instantly share what you are feeling. That is what is being seen. We are seeing the reaction as the shockwaves travel through our community. Telling people that they are not allowed to feel anything about this because they were not the one who went through it is shutting down the human emotion of empathy. We are wired to feel and to feel for those who have been hurt and I honestly think that is what we are seeing a lot of, with the exception of the jerks that are just trying to make it about them.
Finally, to those who say we need to hear Tom’s side of the story. When it comes to rape and abuse, there is no other side to the story. Whatever twisted reasons he had for his behavior, it does not matter. What he did is despicable and I wish there was something I could do to reach out to Olga and let her know just how many people are here to support her and stand with her. Because of strong people like her, the world is safer. There is more awareness and more safety precautions taken to help keep this from happening to others.
I understand that to a survivor going through the process that probably is little to no comfort but please accept my deepest thank you for having the courage to speak up.
Olga, if you ever were to see this, thank you for being brave. I am not going to say the awful things I think about him because I am sure you have enough for all of us. Just know that none of us are going to let this go away. He will get what he deserves. And although none of us can give you back the life he took from you, we can work and fight along with you to make sure you have the most amazing future you can have.
I sincerely hope that i didn’t offend anyone, I have just spent hours with words running around in my head and had to say something for my own sanity.
